Fifteen

It was December already and I was nowhere close to being the success I promised my mom I would be

 The utter mortification of being just a wasted potential, the remorse of not being chosen

I stand before the mirror of my soul waiting to be seen beyond my vessel.

Would he see me for the girl that I am?

Does he think about my eyes too?

Maybe all he cares about is Physics

I wish I was as smart as him.

I check the pixelated screen like a drunkard addict

Just to see her

Her.

A moon untouched by the black shawl of shadows

Her raven hair I yearn to clad myself in

A muse to the artists

A song for the deaf 

Only if I was just as fair

Only if I was just as adored

I'm sorry for drowning the boat of your dreams mother

Do you still see me as a child?

The once burning star falls apart and falls from grace

  To their grave

But my heart is deeply intertwined with my art

I'll tell you how I'm not just hormonal

Neither am I the vile, detestable creature you claim that I am

Maybe I’m just fifteen