Is Chivalry Dead?

– Ashavari

Youth is often and mostly influenced by social media. "Feminism" or "gender equality" is not a trend; it's not something you post about and forget. It's more than just a post or a hashtag you use.

We often see that the "bare minimum" to be in a woman's life is to give her princess treatment once in a while. Princess treatment doesn't have any proper definition. It is a simple dating trend where you prioritize your girlfriend by doing acts of service.

It seems harmless, but the problem occurs when we expect equality yet hope for "princess treatment."

The expectations of receiving flowers, a man opening the car door for you, or something as big as him paying all the bills to pamper his girlfriend.

The real problem arises when we realise that men don't receive the same. They're often criticized for wanting to be pampered the same way they pamper their girlfriend or wife.

If a man asks to split the bill, we end up saying to ourselves, "chivalry is dead."

Chivalry originated during the Middle Ages as a code of conduct for knights. They needed to follow certain behaviours—honour, courtesy, bravery, etc.

Over time, it became a social etiquette where men are expected to open doors for women, let them enter first, walk on the side of the road, going as far as carrying their purse for them.

Chivalry has no place in today's world. Chivalry is a sexist concept where men are expected to follow certain rules. It has nothing to do with respect or politeness. The moment someone is expected to follow certain rules or social etiquettes, it becomes problematic. There's no problem if a man wants to open the door for you—happily take it and thank them, but don't expect it.

Chivalry is better dead.   

Equality goes beyond all of this. It's in every little act of service you do because you want to, not because you have to.

It's in the expectation to split the bill rather than a man automatically paying for it. It's in every small thing you do, from asking for help instead of expecting that a man should help you because he is a man, to demanding the same pay as your male coworker.                                   If you can't do the first, do not expect the second.

Even some men who believe in or even fight for feminism expect their mom or wife to cook for them and refuse to help. They still see it and believe that it's a woman's job. In our daily lives, there are small comments about women being "bad drivers," and expectations about women working the same job as a man while also cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the house.

We rarely question these. It's the constant assumption that it's "normal" and that people just are "supposed" to do so.